I, the Amnesiac
by CookieCollabs
Summary: Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** I, the Amnesiac

**Authors:** **cookiecollabs**  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> eventual CanKo

**Rating:** T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> loss of memory, mild language

**Spoilers:** none

**Disclaimer:** Neither Kristen nor Nani own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

**Summary:** Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

He wasn't sure where he was. He was surrounded by darkness. He looked around, trying to see something, anything, when he caught sight of someone ahead of him. Their back was turned. He started walking towards the figure, knowing somehow that it was important, even dear to him, but no matter how fast he walked, or ran, or sprinted, they remained hopelessly out of reach. He cursed, and tripped. Only then was when the other turned around, and he caught a glimpse of violet eyes.

His own brown eyes snapped open. He sat up, looking around. Who the hell was he? He tried to remember something, anything, but all he knew was that he knew nothing of his own life. _What's my name...?_ He frowned, unsure of even that. It felt like he knew it, somewhere. It was on the tip of his tongue, yet he couldn't quite remember. His brow furrowed in concentration. He glanced around the room he woke in. _So... is this my room?_ He supposed it was. The walls were a light beige. His blankets were striped with red and blue, and there was a cluttered desk with two laptops on it. He noticed another bed across the room. He tried drinking every detail, as if a bit of peeling paint could contain some clues. _I'm guessing I'm sharing this room with someone else?..._ Suddenly, his door opened, and a small, slight man with dark hair tied into a ponytail stood at the doorframe. When he saw him sitting up on the bed, his eyes widened with surprise and slight confusion.

"You're awake?" the man asked, stepping forward, relief washing over his tired face. "Thank god..." He sighed and looked over at his side and then back at the other brunette. "Are you feeling alright?"

_Huh...?_ He frowned, staring at the man, trying to make sense of everything. _Okay, I obviously must have amnesia. So, I'm guessing I know this man? "_My head hurts." He said lightly, laughing nervously. "Um... I didn't want to ask, but... who are you...?"

The smile that had placed itself on the man's lips disappeared after a moment. He looked like he wanted to take a step back, but decided not to, and instead took one forward, slowly approaching the other's bed. "I'm Yao... your cousin." He pointed to himself. The other took notice that Yao had begun to tremble, but couldn't figure out why. "Do you... remember who _you_ are?" Yao asked timidly.

"Um... I'm... your cousin." He joked halfheartedly.

Yao would've laughed, since that was something the other would do, but didn't in the moment of seriousness. "It seems you really..." he sighed once again, but this time in disappointment. "Your name is Im Yong Soo," the older brunette stated. "You are at the age of twenty and -"

"Yong Soo!" Someone ran through the door and tackled the brunette on the bed, embracing him in a strong hug. "You're alright!" the intruder, who was blonde, exclaimed, sounding relieved.

"A-ah!" The brunette, or Yong Soo, as that was what his name apparently was, gasped, surprised at the sudden hug. "Y-yeah, I guess I am!" He stammered. "But, um..."

The blonde looked up, arms wrapped around Yong Soo, ecstatic. He was smiling, and so were his violet eyes. They struck Yong Soo hard, but he chose not to let it get to him. He could deal with it later after he found out what the hell had happened. "Yes?" he asked, glasses frames beginning to slip off of his nose. The blonde tilted his head to the side, curious.

"U-um..." The brunette frowned, unsure how to say what he was about to say next. "I... I don't know who you are." He finally said quietly, looking down.

"...pardon?" The blonde's smile slipped, like Yao's did earlier, when he realized that Yong Soo was being serious. "Oh... u-um..." His cheeks flushed and he pulled away, fixing his shirt and looking down at the floor. Yong Soo couldn't help but feel guity, especially with the eyes that the man had. The blonde looked back up and fixed his glasses. "I'm Matthew Williams, your lo -"

Yao placed a hand on his shoulder and corrected, "He's your best friend, and currently lives with you."

"Oh." Yong Soo tried a smile, stretching his hand out towards Matthew. "It's nice to meet you again, I guess." _He really does look familiar, but I can't remember anything about him..._

Matthew looked like he was going to cry, but he forced a smile and shook the other's hand. "Y-Yeah."

"So," Yao chimed in. "Now that you've met the one person that you've been close to since childhood, I think it's time for you to meet your other family members, aru. Is that alright? Are you up for it?"

"Oh, yeah!" Yong Soo swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. His legs faltered for a moment and he grabbed Matthew's shoulder to regain his balance. "Let's... let's go."

The blonde averted his purple gaze, cheeks coloring. "I-I'll help you." His arm wrapped around Yong Soo's back to support him, gripping at his waist.

Yao kept his comments to himself, and guided the two towards the main room, where several other brunettes were waiting anxiously.

"Hey, you bitch!" one of them exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. He looked identical to Yong Soo, but much angrier, and had a long braid that reached his lower back. His curl, which Yong Soo took note that he also had, was on the opposite side. "It's about time you wake up! What the fuck were you thinking worrying us a -"

"Calm down, aru!" Yao shouted, already frustrated just by the presence of Yong Soo's look alike. He sighed and forced the angry-looking Asian to sit back down. "Yong Soo, this is your twin brother, Haneul." He gestured toward Haneul, who was suddenly confused.

"Wh... Why are you introducing me, old man? He already knows who the fuck I am!"

"I said _calm down!_"

Yong Soo glanced at Haneul, giving him a once-over. "You kinda look like me, huh?" He commented, laughing lightly. "It's nice to meet you, Haneul. So, I have a twin brother?"

Haneul glowered at him, literally fuming. He was beyond confused, which frustrated him all the more, and rendered him speechless.

"Yes, you do." Yao moved over to another brunette, who was on his knees on the ground. This one looked a lot calmer, and when he looked up, Yong Soo immediately knew that this one wasn't going to start swearing and yelling at him. "This is Honda Kiku, one of your other cousins."

Yong Soo nodded at him. "Um, cool. I guess." He moved away from Matthew, who had been supporting him, and leaned against a wall, sighing in confusion. "So, any other cousins? Am I the fricking president of America? Or are there no other surprises?"

"You're in college, is just about all I can say." Yao gave Matthew a look, but Yong Soo didn't see it in time to know what it was.

Haneul finally decided to speak up, and said something quite smart. "You're also gay."

Yong Soo nodded, shrugging. "Okay."

Matthew gawked at the irritated twin, but didn't say anything.

"Ah... yes, that too, aru." The elder Asian nodded. "And you're already in a relationship." He side-glanced at Matthew, who fidgetted.

"Huh? With who?" Yong Soo asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

Yao finally smiled. "You'll find out over time, aru."

_Is he seriously saying that?_

"Uh, fine. Okay." Yong Soo said out loud. "So..."

Matthew poked his head in and decided to speak up. "U-Um... I'm the one you would usually come to whenever you had questions and what-not, so if you wouldn't mind, could you... please follow?" his cheeks colored again.

"Follow you...? Okay." Yong Soo cast a glance back at his cousins and followed the blonde.

The other led him to their shared room, offering Yong Soo to sit on his bed. "S-Since I'm your..." He hesitated. "...best friend, I figured it would be better if you got your answers from me."

"Oh, okay." Yong Soo sat down on the bed, next to him. "So... what happened that made my memories go away? Do you know?"

"Honestly..." Matthew sighed. "I honestly don't know. You were asleep for three whole days.. more like in a coma, but we never called a doctor because we wanted you to rest. You were, um... You were studying the night that you had gone under, and had been up for a little over two days. So... So maybe your body just needed rest. But losing your memory..." He curled up, knees against his chest. "I don't know how it happened."

"Huh. That's really weird. So you think that my three day long nap had something to do with it?"

"I would think so. But I can't figure out _why._"

"...Huh." Yong Soo frowned.

Matthew shrugged. "So... is there anything else you're curious about? I mean... I'd be asking all kinds of things if it were me." When he noticed what he had said, he blushed and corrected himself. "Wh-What I mean is...!"

"I know what you mean, don't worry." The other laughed lightly. He suddenly frowned. "This is probably a weird question, but... what's my favorite color?"

"Um... purple." Matthew couldn't help but smile. "The smallest things can help you get your memory back."

"Purple? How gay _was_ I?" Yong Soo joked, laughing to show he wasn't serious. "Purple." He repeated, frowning slightly. That seemed about right...

Matthew's violet eyes narrowed, but his smile didn't falter. "Yeah. Like this color." He pointed to his eyes, chuckling.

"Uh-huh." Yong Soo stared directly into his eyes, frowning. This seemed to unnerve Matthew a bit. "Your eyes are more like... violet." He stated, his dream rushing back to him. _Dammit. Why can't I just forget it like a normal dream?_

"Y-Yeah..." Matthew's blush darkened, and he averted his eyes. "You always said my eye color was nice... and that you really liked it."

"Really?" Yong Soo smiled. "Well, I do. After all, you just said my favorite color was purple." He wondered why the blonde was blushing. _He's just a shy person, I guess._

"R-Right..." The blonde nodded. "I-Is there anything else? I know you've got more that you want to know." He offered him a smile, looking back at him.

"What's my favorite food? What do I usually do in my free time? Do I have any friends besides you?" Matthew was suddenly bombarded by questions faster than he could answer.

Matthew tried to keep himself from yelling to get the other to stop. "Y-Yong Soo... Yong Soo!" he exclaimed, tackling the other onto his back, on top of him while pinning the other's arms above his head. "Calm down," Matthew murmured, smiling softly. "One question at a time, please."

Yong Soo looked up at him, surprised by the sudden change in position. "R-right." He said finally. "Sorry."

The blonde went to pull away, but it appeared that he couldn't. Yong Soo wondered why. "Yeah. So... First question, eh?"

"Um..." Yong Soo tugged his wrists from the others grip gently, sitting up. "So...how did I meet you? Yao... that was his name, right? But anyways, Yao said we were good friends."

Matthew ended up sitting on his lap in this position, but didn't say anything. "We met back in the second grade, and we got along easily. But we wouldn't have become such good friends if my brother hadn't spoken up." His eyes lit up at the mention of his brother. "Oh! I forgot! I have a twin brother, too! His name is Alfred Jones. The whole last name thing is hard to explain. But, you guys are really good friends too!" The blonde looked at the sheets. "But he lives down in Texas... with his boyfriend."

"Huh? We're both twins, then!" Yong Soo said, smiling.

"Yeah... We are." Matthew laughed.

"Alright, then..." Yong Soo frowned slightly, thinking.

"So... Any other questions you would like to ask? And please don't throw out a million questions and expect me to answer them all at once," the other joked.

"Haha~ hm..." The other thought for moment. "I wanna know everything... but little by little." He got off the bed, stretching out. "I bet my life was a hell of a lot more interesting before this." he added, smiling. "That's one plus."

Matthew thought for a minute. "Um... You don't like studying, but you'll do it for long periods of time once you begin." He frowned at this. "You like just about anything but kimchi... Uh... We've lived together for a couple years now, since we're now at the age of twenty. I can't really think of anything else." He looked at the ceiling, and then Yong Soo. "You really care about your significant other..." His voice trailed off, and he avoided eye contact.

"Huh... who is he, anyways?" The brunette looked back at the blonde.

"Hmm?" The blonde glanced back at him. "It's like Yao said... You'll find out at some point." His cheeks colored and he looked back at his bookshelf.

"Okay." Yong Soo headed towards the door. "What day is today? What should I do?"

Matthew scrambled to his feet, grabbing Yong Soo's arm. "Today is Friday, September 23rd. And you should rest inside of the house. You just woke up from what we think is a coma, and it will do you no good if you pass out again." When Yong Soo gave him a look, he rolled his eyes. "I'm allowed to have some sort of medical knowledge."

"Well, if you say so." Yong Soo sat back down, slumping slightly.

"Are you hungry?"

"Actually, I am."

"I'll go fix you something." And with that, Matthew headed out of the room.

Yong Soo fell back onto his bed. _This is..._

Not too long after did Matthew return with a bento, chopsticks, and a glass of tea. "You, uh... You like eating this for lunch, so... yeah."

"Thanks." Yong Soo smiled at blonde and took the bento.

Matthew stepped back and grabbed one of his books, flipping to a random page and appearing to be studying it.

Yong Soo ate quietly. _This is good. Now I know why I like it._

In a moment of worry, Matthew looked up and asked, "Is it alright? I-If it's not, I could go get you something else..."

In a moment of worry, Matthew looked up and asked, "Is it alright? I-If it's not, I could go get you something else..."

Yong Soo smiled at his friend. "No, it's all good. Thanks."

"Alright..." Matthew looked back at his book. After a few moments of silence, he looked up with a sad smile. "I'm sorry you lost your memory," the blonde whispered, softly.

"It's alright." The brunette sighed quietly. "Couldn't be helped."

The other bit down on his lower lip, worrying it. He looked like he was about to say something, but didn't. It appeared he couldn't, for some strange reason.

The other bit down on his lower lip, worrying it. He looked like he was about to say something, but didn't. It appeared he couldn't, for some strange reason.

"Hm? Do you have anything to say?" Yong Soo asked, curious.

Matthew worried his lip some more, and shook his head. "Just... Just thinking about an exam I have coming up in a few days," he lied, avoiding eye contact. He had done it quite a bit, and Yong Soo was getting curious. He must be a really shy person, the brunette concluded.

"Okay!" He said cheerfully. "If that's all, I hope you'll do alright!"

Matthew's cheeks colored, and he managed a laugh. "Thank you."

The brunette's smile remained and he got up to throw the leftovers away.

"Hey, Yong Soo..." Matthew closed his book and stood, fiddling with a pen in his right hand. His free hand moved up to scratch at the back of his neck. "Um..."

"What?"

"This is really bad... uh..." The blonde fidgeted. "You have an exam tomorrow and you... probably have no memory whatsoever of what you've been studying." He sighed, running a hand through his wavy hair.

"Huh? What's it on?" Yong Soo smiled slightly. "I remember everything... except anything personal about my life. It's like... I know that there's twenty four hours in a day, but I don't know something like my favorite animal." He frowned. "What _is_ my favorite animal?"

"So it's _there,_ huh..." Matthew hummed to himself, thinking. "It's nothing much, just on the basics of college geography. It's the same thing for me, but I'm in an advanced class." So he was a smarty-pants too, huh? "And I _think_ your favorite animal is a panda. I _could _be wrong." The blonde shrugged, handing him one of his textbooks. "Here. You were studying this a few nights ago, before you..." Matthew worried his lower lip again. "...yeah."

"Thanks." Yong Soo flipped through the book, smiling in relief when he saw he did indeed know all of it.

"Are you remembering anything?" the other questioned, hopeful.

"Well, like I said, I already knew this."

"Oh... W-Well that's a good start, I guess."

"Yeah." Yong Soo closed the book. "Well, that sucks. I don't have an excuse to skip."

Matthew chuckled. "It would be a pain in the ass explaining anyways."

"Haha... yeah. I wouldn't make you do that."

"Thanks. I appreciate it," the blonde said, truthfully. "Ugh..." Matthew pulled out his notebook and started scribbling. "I'll just stay here and monitor you. Yao has enough going on as it is."

Yong Soo smiled. "So, I live with Yao, my twin, and my other cousin?"

"And me."

"And you." He smiled at the blonde. However, a part of him felt frustrated. He wanted to know more, everything about himself, yet he didn't want to ask.

Matthew's cheeks colored for the bijillionth time that day and he turned back to his notebook.

"So... what are the others like? In your opinion?"

"Your cousins?" Matthew stopped his scribbling and looked up, in thought. "Yao is like a parent to you all, and juggles about four jobs. But he was given a break because of your... _incident._ Haneul is... special." He chuckled to himself. "He has anger issues, and they haven't gotten any better because he ran away from therapy and now hangs out with Lovino, who is just as bad with his language. Lovino is also a twin, by the way. I hang out with his brother, who is really nice..." The blonde paused. "But Feli constantly forgets my name."

There was a short moment of silence, and then Matthew continued, but his tone lacked the light it had not too long ago. Yong Soo wasn't sure of what it was, so he didn't press. "Kiku is... an anime freak. He plays these 2-D sims all of the time on his laptop, and I swear he watches porn. But he's really nice... a little too nice, if you ask me."

"_Too_ nice?" Yong Soo finally asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"He tends to cover up things with polite antics and such... It makes me uneasy."

"I see... he did seem nice. He wasn't talking much, though."

"Kiku doesn't speak unless he's done analyzing the situation and if he finds it right to talk, he will."

"I see. You don't seem to like him much." Yong Soo observed.

Matthew shook his head. "To be honest, I don't. I'm not sure why. It's these vibes that I get from him. Once in awhile he gives me these looks... but he always looks so... what's the word..." He frowned. "..._expressionless, _that I never know what he's thinking."

"Weird... so he's one of _those_ kinda people? Those sorta emotionless people?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, then..." Yong Soo shrugged. "Some people are like that, I guess."

Matthew played with his pen, not sure of what to say. "Yeah, I guess."

The brunette nodded and remained quiet, comfortable with the silence.

"Hmm..." The blonde flipped through his pad of paper and murmured, "I really wish you hadn't lost your memory, Yong Soo..." He sounded sad, almost crushed. Then again, Yong Soo thought, he was his best friend. Of course he would be sad.

"I'm sorry, but what can I do?" Yong Soo said, smiling.

"Nothing... There's nothing that you can do." Matthew rested his chin on his knees, still curled up. He offered a small smile, looking out the window to his right. "I can only wish that this hadn't happened..."

"Hey..." The brunette's eyes softened. "I'll get my memories back."

Matthew removed his glasses and began cleaning them, having nothing else to do. "But there's some things that you can never return back to normal," he whispered, his lower lip quivering the slightest.

"What's wrong?" Yong Soo asked, frowning. "You look so sad."

"I-I'm not sad," the other quickly recovered, placing his circular frames onto the bridge of his nose. He tried to fix his smile, but it lacked happiness. "I'm just tired," Matthew lied. "I haven't slept well for the past few days."

"Alright..." The other frowned, but didn't push it.

And for the remaining few hours of the day, they sat there, reading and thinking. There wasn't much else that they did, except get up to eat dinner and then head off to get ready to sleep and study some more. But besides that, there wasn't much.

"Good night, Mattie." Matthew had informed him that that was his nickname for him before.

Matthew turned off their lamp and slipped underneath his sheets, murmuring a "good night".

Yong Soo stared at the ceiling for a long time before his eyelids finally grew heavy and he and he fell asleep.

Yong Soo was back in the empty blackness. _Here again?_ He caught a glimpse of the same person in the distance. _Who is that, anyways?_ He started walking towards the person, who always remained out of reach. He never caught up.

**Nani: ****A new story! And what do you know, it's CanKo! Again! Anyways, I can't wait to continue this one! And don't worry, I'm pretty sure we'll update our other stories! *pointed look at Blysse* I'll help edit! :U Anyways, thanks for reading and please review!**

**Kristen: Pfft, PLEASE. I'm working on them! Just give me some time! Goodness! I have a life, thank you! And I agree! I can't wait to continue! The second chapter shall be up soon! I just need to edit it. :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** I, the Amnesiac

**Authors:** **cookiecollabs**  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> eventual CanKo

**Rating:** T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> loss of memory, mild language

**Spoilers:** none

**Disclaimer:** Neither Kristen nor Nani own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

**Summary:** Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

"...ng Soo... hey... wake up..."

"Nn..." Yong Soo moaned quietly in his sleep, turning slightly.

"...are at two... okay?"

"Wha...?" Yong Soo's eyes fluttered open, half-lidded and clouded with sleep.

When he focused on the figure above him, he noticed that Matthew had been trying to wake him up. "Your classes start at two," he repeated. "Okay? Let's go eat before we leave. I let you sleep in."

"Ah..." Yong Soo sat up, rubbing one of his eyes. "Okay... what time is it?"

"It's a quarter to one," Matthew informed him, pulling on his sweatshirt. "The college is twenty minutes away, so we need to eat and leave here really soon."

"I slept for a while, huh?" Yong Soo smiled sleepily and stood up, stretching.

Matthew nodded, confirming that he did indeed sleep for quite a bit. "I woke up at around six, like I always do... You usually wake up at around eight or so, but it'll take your body some time to get used to that." He smiled, but he had turned while talking, so Yong Soo didn't see it.

"Ah... okay." Yong Soo pulled his shirt off and opened his drawers to find something to wear.

The other turned back to grab his book, but froze. His face turned a dark red, and he found himself unable to move.

The other, oblivious to the other, pulled out a black, long-sleeved, turtleneck. "These sleeves are pretty long, aren't they?" He commented, looking back at Matthew. He wondered what was up with the blonde, who was blushing furiously.

For a moment, Matthew only stood there, staring at Yong Soo. His violet eyes had darkened with lust, but he quickly shook out of it and looked off to the side, scratching the back of his neck. "Y-You really like long sleeves... for some very strange reason." His laugh was shaky, but he shrugged it off.

"Huh... really?" Yong Soo shrugged, and pulled the shirt over his head. "Didn't know that. But, then again..." He laughed. "I don't really know anything."

Matthew gave a shrug, laughing again. "Ahaha... y-yeah..." He grabbed his bag and stuffed some of his materials into them.

The other shrugged, and pulled a pair of jeans on. "There, I look decent. I'm going to brush my teeth."

"Alright. I'll be... in the kitchen." Before Yong Soo could say anything else, the blonde left, shaking with an emotion that Yong Soo couldn't read.

The Korean ('cause that's what Matthew said he was) boy frowned and headed to the bathroom. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, he joined Matthew in the kitchen. "Where's everyone else?" He asked, confused. "Are they already gone?"

The other rummaged through the fridge and grabbed two sandwich packages, preparing them on a couple plates. "Yao's at one of his day jobs, Kiku's at his college a little farther away from here, and Haneul's at boarding school." He paused, and before Yong Soo could say anything, added, "He graduated the same year we did, but he held himself back for another few years because he wasn't doing so well in history since he had fallen dangerously ill during his high school years." Matthew fixed them each a cup of water and brought the food over to the table.

"Do you like cooking?" Yong Soo asked suddenly.

"I do, but I don't do it often since Yao won't let me. Because I'm a guest." Matthew rolled his eyes. "The only reason why I'm still here is because of you."

"Really? Don't they like you?"

Matthew hesitated. "They... They do, it's just I tend to get in their way because apparently I am the center of your attention." He frowned. "They want to spend time together as a family, since you guys got back together six or seven years ago, and I'm keeping you guys from doing that. I don't have a job, so I can't pay Yao back. But he won't let me pay him back with the leftover money from my family."

EDIT: "Really? Wonder why." Yong Soo looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling at Matthew. "Well, I'm glad you're here."

The blonde offered a smile and sat down at the table, spreading maple syrup on his sandwich. "Yeah. I'm glad I'm here too."

"Yeah. This would probably be a lot harder without you." The brunette glanced at Matthew. "...Maple syrup?" He finally asked, laughing.

"But you have fami..." He frowned when Yong Soo commented on his liking for the substance that he was pouring onto his sandwich. "It tastes good," was all Matthew said, pouting.

"Nothing wrong with syrup. Just thought it was odd for a sandwich." Yong Soo commented.

Matthew's cheeks colored and he looked back to his sandwich, closing the lid on his maple syrup. "You never had a problem with it before," he mumbled.

Yong Soo smirked at the other's expression. "I still don't have a problem. I think it's funny."

"It's not funny," the other protested. He grabbed at his cup of coffee, which was sitting beside him from earlier that day. Matthew took a bite out of his sandwich and licked at his lips. "Hmm. I still don't think there's enough."

Yong Soo finished his own sandwich, throwing away the paper plate. "I'm ready to go."

Matthew wasn't too far behind, and stood up, tossing his plate into the trash as well. "I'll... drive, just to be safe."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

They headed to the car with their bags, and Matthew started the car once Yong Soo got in the passenger seat. "We're on time, that's good," he mused, nodding to himself.

"Yep." Yong Soo sat next to him, and they drove to school.

"I learned something new about myself." Yong Soo mumbled as they drove home.

"Eh?" Matthew looked at him. He was about to ask him how his exam had went, but the question had took him by surprise. "What is it?"

"I hate college."

Matthew just sat there for a moment, pressing down on the brake to stop at a red light. He then laughed. "Yeah, you do. You always come home complaining about it."

"Aha, so it isn't just me? I've heard of people who lose their memories going through personality changes."

"I'll make sure you don't change," Matthew promised, looking ahead at the road. "I couldn't have my best friend go and change like that."

"What if the changes are good?" Yong Soo asked, glancing back at Matthew.

The blonde didn't say anything at this, just watched the road. He didn't say anything for the rest of the ride home, too caught up in his thoughts.

Yong Soo stepped out of the car when they got home, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Matthew unlocked the door and hurried off to their shared room, throwing his bag onto the floor and ignoring the other.

Yong Soo found the blonde to be acting odd, as usual. He took his bag to his room, left it there, and headed to the kitchen to get a snack.

The blonde was in their room, reading one of his books at random. He wasn't speaking, and the look in his eyes said he didn't want to.

"Hm... no one else is here yet..." Yong Soo grabbed a roll from the cabinet.

"They take all-day classes," Matthew informed him, quietly.

"You came from nowhere." Yong Soo commented, taking a bite of his roll.

Matthew had indeed came from nowhere, but that nowhere was their room. He had finally decided to return, book in hand. He nodded. "It gets lonely in there," he murmured.

"I see." Yong Soo nodded. "Do I have a phone?"

"It's on your nightstand."

"Okay. I wanted to look at my contacts." Yong Soo smiled, almost sadly, and took another bite of his roll.

The blonde nodded, but then remembered something. "I-I'll go... get it for you." He hurried off to their room, returning with a small flip-phone.

Yong Soo took it, scrolling through a list of names... he wondered if one would trigger something, but no such luck. He sighed and put the phone in his pocket. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Yong Soo nodded, and started absentmindedly wandering the kitchen, then the living room, then the hallway, trying to imprint his own house in his mind.

Matthew watched him quietly, curled up on the couch.

The brunette sighed, running a hand through his hair, his eyes unreadable and a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Are you having fun over there?"

"That's one way to put it."

"...I see." Matthew flipped through his book, unsure of what he should say.

Yong Soo nodded.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully until Haneul and Kiku got home.

"You look lost." Haneul threw his bag to the side, glaring at Yong Soo. But it seemed that glare was always in place. "How's it going, blondy?" he snapped, looking at Matthew.

Matthew's nose wrinkled at the presence of the other twin. "Rude as always, I see," he commented. "Yong Soo's doing just fine."

"Great." The elder Korean twin rolled his eyes. "We should make him our slave."

"Not a chance."

Yong Soo wondered how he usually acted towards Haneul. Unsure of what to do, he simply nodded in the other's direction.

Haneul gave him a rude finger and headed off to his room.

"Have fun with your porn," Matthew called, and earned some insults from Haneul.

Yong Soo sighed, sitting next to Matthew.

"Your brother's really rude," the blonde groaned, aimlessly flipping through his book. "He's always like this after school."

Yong Soo sighed. "Sheesh. I can tell."

"You usually don't let his insults get to you and... well, you really don't give a shit about what he says about you, in general."

Yong Soo shrugged. "It doesn't look like he really means it."

"That's because he doesn't." Matthew offered a small smile. "He really cares for you. He just doesn't want to seem 'weak', as he puts it."

"Weak, huh?" Yong Soo shrugged. "Some people are like that."

"I guess so."

The brunette stood up. "I'm going to our room."

"Um... alright. I'll be there in a little bit to study."

"Alright."

"I'm home, aru!"

"And he's brought a guest~! Hehe!"

Matthew was helping Yong Soo out with some of his memories when Yao had arrived... with a guest. He went shellshocked and hissed, "Shit."

"Huh?" Yong Soo followed Matthew to the door. He looked at Yao blankly. "Hello."

Yao waved, his other hand gripping one of the ones that belonged to their guest. "I brought Ivan over for dinner today, aru," he informed them.

"The commie is here, Kiku," Haneul called from his room.

A muffled curse came from Kiku's room.

"Hello, Yong Soo." Yong Soo looked up... and up... and up... to see a smiling sandy haired man. His eyes happened to be violet as well, which confused him for a second. However there was almost a darkness behind his smile.

Yong Soo instinctively grabbed Matthew's sleeve, scared.

Matthew wrapped an arm around his waist, silently letting the other know that he was there. "It would be polite to greet him back," he whispered into Yong Soo's ear. "You don't like him, but it would still be nice to say hello."

"Um, h-hello...?" Yong Soo said quietly. The other's smile simply widened and he let Yao lead him to the kitchen.

When Ivan left, Matthew's grip loosened. "Sorry. I had no idea he was coming over, or else I would've gone over the... relationship between you two."

"Wh-who is he...?" Yong Soo shuddered. Deep down, he knew that something wasn't right with the tall, intimidating, man.

"He's Ivan Braginski... Yao's boyfriend." Matthew frowned. "They're very... _close._"

"Uh-huh." Yong Soo glanced at him, expecting more, and realized the blonde's arm was still around his waist. He decided not to point it out. "And...?"

"He's this weird Russian guy that Yao met back in high school." The blonde shrugged. "There isn't much to say about him, except that he was sexually abused when he was younger."

"Really?" Yong Soo frowned. "He's really creepy."

"Yeah, he is." Matthew reached up and touched Yong Soo's cheek, and when he realized what he was doing, he pulled away, now a few feet away from Yong Soo. His cheeks reddened until they were scarlet. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered.

"What's wrong?" He asked, confused by Matthew's weirdness once more.

Matthew shook his head. "N-No, it's... it's nothing." He looked away, trembling. "I'm just... no, it's nothing."

"It looks like something..."

"I was just..." Matthew looked back at Yong Soo, the lie he was about to tell clear in his eyes. "W-We're already in a commited relationship, so I shouldn't get so close... I-I'm sorry," he mumbled again.

"Oh. I see." Yong Soo laughed lightly. "Was that what was bothering you? We're best friends, don't worry about it."

"Aha..." The look in the blonde's eyes softened and he smiled. "I-I guess that's what it was."

The other inwardly frowned. It was obvious that Matthew had been lying, though he chose not to push it. However, he felt like he had a right to know his own memories, and it felt like the blonde was hiding part of them.

"So, should we go back to going over some of your memories?" Matthew gestured towards their room. "I've still got several photo albums to show you."

"Okay." Yong Soo nodded and watched as Matthew pulled out two or three thick albums from the bookshelf.

They headed towards their room and Matthew settled down on his bed, flipping open to the first page. "This was from..."

And it went on like that for several hours.

Yong Soo sighed, pushing away the last photo album. "Matthew..."

Matthew looked up, his violet eyes looking distant. But he smiled. "Yes?"

"I..." He frowned. "I know some stuff about myself now... but I don't actually _remember_ it." He looked down at the floor. "To tell you the truth, it feels like someone else's life, not mine."

The other's hand twitched at this, but Matthew clenched it into a fist to keep it from shaking. "I-It should return... You can't just lose your memory like that and not gain it back at some point, Yong Soo." The blonde placed the album onto the pile with the others, keeping his voice quiet. "We don't know the reason why you lost your memory and... and I _know_ it'll return over time... I'm sorry you don't remember any of it." Matthew gripped at his bed sheets, worrying his lower lip. "I really wish you could remember. I've said it over and over, and I know that it might not ever happen, but I'm allowed to wish..."

"I know. It's alright." Yong Soo smiled sadly. "Some things do seem right... but other things I just don't..." he sighed and shook his head, as if to clear it. "It's not fair." He mumbled, grimacing at his childish words.

"What things _don't_ seem right?" the other questioned.

"I don't know." Yong Soo looked at him blankly. "I guess... for example... It looks like I loved my family, but..." his hands curled into fists. "I... I don't feel anything towards them. I don't hate them, but I know nothing about them. I guess it's because I have no memories, good or bad, of them." He slowly shook his head. "I don't know what to do."

A shock of guilt went down Matthew's spine and he shot forward, trapping Yong Soo in a hug. "I can help you," he murmured.

"How?" The other asked plaintively.

"I don't know yet." Matthew rested his chin on Yong Soo's shoulder, holding the other close. "I just know that I'll fix it one day."

"...Thank you." Yong Soo smiled again, this time a bit more happily. "I can understand why we were good friends."

Matthew's small smile widened. "Really?" The look in his eyes softened. "I'm glad."

The Korean pulled away, sitting on his bed.

"So. We went through all of the photos that we have, so I think we should get back to... whatever we should do." Matthew shrugged.

"And... what is that?"

"Who knows..."

"Haha..."

"Yeah."

Yong Soo stared at the blonde for a moment before lying down. "I'm hungry." He complained.

"Dinner should be read any minute," Matthew said, grabbing one of his books. "But it might be a little late because Ivan's here." The blonde averted his purple gaze over to his window, shuddering.

"Yeah..." Yong Soo suddenly felt a vibration in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and flipped it open. "Mattie... um, who's Leon?"

"Leon is one of your good friends. He's a few years younger than you, and in his senior year of high school. You two get along really well."

"I see." Yong Soo thought a moment, and replied, snapping his phone shut.

"Can I ask what he said?"

"He heard about what happened from Kiku and asked if I was alright."

Matthew sighed. "Alright. I'm glad we don't have to explain anything."

"Yeah... even I'm having trouble getting what happened."

"Same here, believe it or not."

Yong Soo sat back up, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Ugh," Matthew sighed. "Why am I suddenly bored. Why can't something interesting happen..."

"I don't know..."

"We should go check on Yao, to see if dinner's ready." Matthew got to his feet, heading off to wait at the door for Yong Soo.

"Alright." Yong Soo walked past Matthew and downstairs to the kitchen.

Matthew's lips quirked, but he stuck with neither a smile nor a frown and follow not too far behind.

"Dinner's also ready, aru," Yao informed, stirring something.

"Oh, good! I'm hungry!" Yong Soo exclaimed cheerfully.

"It's your turn to set the table, Haneul."

"Stupid..." Haneul grumbled, grabbing the necessary plates and utensils.

"What's for dinner?" Yong Soo asked.

"Some sort of soup, aru."

"Some sort of soup? Wouldn't _you_ know what it is?"

"I should..." Yao shrugged. "But I don't, aru."

"Alright... as long as it isn't poisoned."

Yao gave him a pointed look. "Hey!" he snapped. "I wouldn't put poison in my food. I cook well, unlike Arthur, aru."

"Ah, Arthur. Yeah, I totally know who Arthur is." Yong Soo said rather irritably, sitting down at the table.

Immediately, the Chinese man felt guilty. "He's Matthew's brother's boyfriend. He can't cook, aru. At all."

"At all? But he tries?"

"He acknowledges that he cannot cook, but does it anyways. Matthew is constantly having to go back to care for his brother whenever he eats Arthur's cooking, aru." Yao paused. "Because Arthur refuses to care for him whenever he falls ill, since he can't do that either."

"Ahaha." Yong Soo couldn't help but laugh. "Sounds like a charmer."

Matthew grabbed a beer out of the fridge, but Yao caught his arm and took it from him. When he was scolded that he still had a year to go, he stuck his tongue out at the elder and headed off to sit at the kitchen. "Arthur is only good at sex, or so Al tells me."

"Well, that's nice."

"Yeah. I said the same thing." The blonde rolled his eyes. "Al likes to talk about his sex life."

"Goodness." Yong Soo said. "You sure we're friends?" He joked.

"Actually, I'm more then sure." Matthew nodded. "You would just sit there and nod, not really giving a care in the world and hold m..." He paused and cleared his throat, a pink dusting his cheeks. "You guys are really close, believe it or not."

"What were you gonna say?" Yong Soo asked, confused once more.

"Nothing, I was ju -"

"Dinner's ready, aru!" Yao declared.

"Yay! Food!" Yong Soo cheered.

Matthew sighed, and Yong Soo thought it was relief, but he wasn't sure. "What kind of soup is it?"

"It's soup, aru!"

"Yao just told me that, too."

Yao rolled his eyes, bringing the pot over to the table. "It's good. Enjoy it, aru."

"Where's everyone else?" Yong Soo asked. Just that moment, as if the world was set on proving him wrong, Kiku came downstairs.

"I'm right here, dumbass." Haneul grabbed his drink and shoved it into Yong Soo's cheek, retrieving it and setting it down on the table.

"Ah!" Yong Soo jumped. "Hey! That was cold!"

Matthew chuckled. "It's as if things never changed," he mused.

Yao led Ivan to the table, beginning to serve everyone.

Kiku sat down next to Matthew, waiting for everyone else to eat before he did as well.

Once everyone was settled, Yao set his spoon down and rested his chin in his hands. "I have an announcement to make," he informed, sullen.

Everyone looked at the man, waiting for him to speak.

Yao was quiet for a moment, thinking over what he wanted to say. "First off... Matthew..."

The blonde looked up, his voice quiet. "Yes?"

"I think it's time for you to get a job, aru."

"Eh? Yao?" He refused to let him get a job just a few days ago! What happened?

Haneul slammed his fist onto the table, causing the glasses and utensils to shake. "Dammit, old man! Don't tell me we've gone broke again!" When Yao didn't say something, he pushed his chair back and stood up, palms on the table. "You promised this wouldn't fucking happen again!" he snapped, infuriated.

The only thing Yao said was, "Sit down, Haneul."

Yong Soo frowned. "This... happened before?" He finally said.

Matthew leaned to his side, whispering, "It's happened a couple of times, but we try to keep that behind ourselves, eh." He turned back to Yao, who looked more stressed than usual. "Yao... I... I couldn't just go off and..."

"If you plan to continue living here, I suggest you get a job, aru. I hate to say this, I truly do, but if you don't get a job to care for yourself, then I will have to ask you to leave."

"I'll get a job." Yong Soo cut in.

The eldest looked up. "You're recovering from memory loss, I couldn't just..."

"I ain't gettin' one," Haneul cut in, starkly.

Matthew shot him a disapproving look. "Of course you're not." He averted his gaze back to Yao. "I can get one in a few days... My applications are all filled out, so all I need to do is go to a few job interviews."

"Thank you, aru."

Yong Soo pouted. "I live here. I should get a job, anyways."

"I'm not so sure about that..." Yao mused, frowning. "If you insist. But your memory loss..."

"Hmph. Who cares?" Yong Soo crossed his arms. "My brain functions just fine."

"It's the information part, though," Matthew cut in. "They would need to know about your past experiences and the like."

"And... well, you don't have any of that, aru."

Yong Soo shrugged. "I know enough. I'll write it on my arm or something. Or I'll just lie."

Matthew gawked at him. "No... no, you _won't._" His tone took a different turn, something more serious than from before. "The Yong Soo I knew wouldn't do that."

"Well... maybe I'm not him. Not anymore. How would I know?" Yong Soo asked bitterly.

"I don't _want_ you to be different!" the blonde retorted, venom in his words. "This stupid... This is ridiculous, Yong Soo. I'm trying to get you to be who you were, not change you into someone you wern't." He had risen from his seat in his anger, fists shaking at his sides. Tears had begun to form in his eyes, which surprised Yong Soo. "I don't want you to be different," he repeated, softer this time.

Kiku looked up at the blonde. "That sounds rather selfish, Matthew-san."

Yong Soo looked down, saying nothing.

"Stay out of this, Kiku," Matthew snapped, not facing the Japanese man. He bit down on his lower lip, stiffling the whimper that tried to escape his throat.

"I don't mean to go into things that are not my business. However, I felt that it was a valid point."

"Keep your valid points to yourself." At the end of the sentence, Matthew's voice cracked and his expression hardened. "I'm done. Please let me be excused." He left the dinner table, running off to his and Yong Soo's room.

Yong Soo sighed, putting his spoon down. "So... is that common? For him?"

"Actually, yes, aru." Yao sighed. "But he usually doesn't storm off in the middle of dinner. Most of the time, Matthew just sits there and looks at his food while the rest of us eat, aru. I'm surprised he didn't start crying this time."

"Maybe I should apologize." Yong Soo said quietly.

"It wasn't your fault, aru," the other assured him, but even he knew it was.

"Right." Yong Soo rolled his eyes.

"If you think you should apologize, I suggest you do." Kiku said in his soft-spoken voice.

"So do I, aru."

"Alright." Yong Soo stood up with his bowl half-empty. "I'll do it now."

Yao began to eat his soup, which had gone cold. "It was such good soup, too..." He sighed, and looked at Ivan. "You've been quiet, aru."

Ivan chuckled. "It was fun to watch."

"...makes sense, aru."

Yong Soo entered the room quietly. "Oi, Mattie..."

Matthew was sitting on his bed, looking out the window. The only light provided was the light coming from the window, which wasn't much, causing Matthew's wavy blonde locks to look silver in the moonlight. He didn't look at the visitor in his room, nor did he respond.

"Um..." Yong Soo started quietly. Matthew remained quiet. "I'm sorry. About earlier, that is."

"You have no reason to be sorry," Matthew cut in, his tone cold as ice.

"I do. You're upset. That's a reason."

"But you're not the reason." It was a big lie, but Matthew was doing his best to convince _himself_ first before he tried to convince Yong Soo.

"...It is. Why're you so upset?"

Matthew finally looked at him, tears rolling down his pale face. His violet eyes were near glowing in the dark. "I've lost all hope, Yong Soo," he choked out, smiling sadly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I want the Yong Soo _I_ know... I... I know it's selfish, but... I just..." Matthew sobbed into his hands, overwhelmed. "I-I'm sorry... I'm being extremely selfish right now..."

The brunette sighed. "I'm sorry. That I'm not _myself._"

"I want to fix you," he whispered. "I'll try... but I'm almost positive that it won't work."

"You've never told about... well, how _I _actually was like. Before."

"You were my best friend... the closest friend I've ever had... to the point that I..." Matthew combed a hand through his hair. "Dammit... It's about time you knew. I can't keep something so personal from you forever..."

"What?" Yong Soo demanded.

Matthew got up off of the bed and stepped forward, taking Yong Soo's hands in his owns. He looked up, leftover tears in his eyes, and admitted, "Yong Soo... I'm... I'm that one person that you've been committed to for so long."

**Kristen: Dun… dun… DUN.**

**Nani****: Three reviews already? Wow, I feel loved. Haha, anyways, thank you all for reading. This chapter ends on a cliffhanger. Sort of. But I hope you guys aren't upset. XD So... *strikes dramatic pose* The plot thickens! And as I mentioned before, love the reviews. Keep 'em coming!**

**Kristen: The next chapter is not very long, just for a heads up. :( Sorry! And we appreciate your reviews! There are no words to express our love for you all! *hands out cookies and other great stuff***


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** I, the Amnesiac (3/?)  
><strong>Authors:<strong> **cookiecollabs**  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> eventual CanKo  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> loss of memory, mild language  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> none  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Neither Alfie nor Finn own Hetalia: Axis Powers.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

"Yong Soo... I'm... I'm that one person that you've been committed to for so long."

Yong Soo blinked. He gripped Matthew's hands, which were holding his, and he gritted his teeth. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He finally asked.

Matthew flinched, but kept his hold. "I-I had doubts about what you would say... a-and if you would accept it. I'm sorry!"

The other looked down, quiet for a moment, before speaking. "But I accepted it before. I must have." He smiled. "I can do it again."

The blonde was taken aback by this, and quickly caught up, tackling Yong Soo in a hug. "Oh, thank god," he sighed, in relief.

Yong Soo was surprised, but laughed and hugged the other as well.

"I'm so happy," Matthew cried, on the verge of tears. "I-I thought I was going to lose you..."

"Did you love me?" Yong Soo asked, voice quiet.

Matthew let out a breathy laugh at this. "I _love_ you more than you could believe," he said, correcting him. "And the same goes for you. You loved me so much..." His tone turned almost sad again.

Yong Soo searched himself, not knowing what to say. He was most definitely fond of the blonde, but he wasn't sure if he loved him.

"It's alright if you don't," Matthew assured him, as if reading his mind. "I don't expect you to just return it right away after finding out you did before you lost your memory."

"Okay... Thanks." The brunette said, relieved that Matthew understood.

The other gave him a reassuring smile. "It takes time for these things to set in. Don't try to just accept them right away."

Yong Soo nodded slowly. "Okay."

Deciding it was a good time to pull away, Matthew released the other, holding his hands by his sides. "Yeah, so... I'm really sorry for hiding that from you."

Yong Soo pretended to pout. "I'll never forgive you." He said, though the small smile in his lips said otherwise.

Matthew took it seriously for a moment, but then laughed when he noticed the smile that quirked his lips. "Geez... you really..." He couldn't help but laugh again, taking one of Yong Soo's hands in his by habit.

"So... what was _I_ like?"

"Hmm? In what sense?"

"Well, um... how did I act like?"

"When we were together?"

"Yeah."

Matthew looked off to the side, his hand curling around Yong Soo's. "Hmm..." His cheeks turned pink as he thought about it. "You were all over me, I guess... constantly hugging and... k-kissing me and the like..." The blonde avoided the other's gaze, his blush turning heavy.

Yong Soo laughed at Matthew's expression. "How about personality-wise?"

"You were... You never yelled at me or anyone else, you were very soft and kind and never got upset over things as easily as you used to.. b-before we were together, that is. You were carefree and..." Matthew's eyes had filled with tears again and he tried to blink them away, but they ended up falling. "Heh... sorry, I'm just..."

"Don't cry." Yong Soo frowned. Seeing the blonde with tears in his eyes bothered him for some reason.

"I-I'm sorry..." Matthew removed his hand from Yong Soo's to wipe them from his eyes and cheeks, sniffling. "I'm just a mess right now... A-Anyways, you were carefree and... you always smiled..."

"I see..." Yong Soo gave a small smile, maybe to reassure Matthew, maybe to reassure himself.

Matthew let out a shuddering sigh. "I'm not sure what to do, Yong Soo... Usually I would..." He moved his watery gaze over to Yong Soo, settling there. "Usually... But I couldn't... You're recovering from memory loss and you haven't confirmed it yet... I couldn't just..."

The other looked down, wondering what to do, and moved on impulse, wrapping his arms around Matthew and pulling him into a hug.

The blonde made a noise of surprise that sounded like a squeak, but Yong Soo wasn't sure. Matthew just stood there, shocked, before returning the hug.

"Calm down."

"...I'm sorry," Matthew whispered, shaking.

"Don't apologize. It's alright."

Matthew nodded into the material of Yong Soo's shirt, clutching at it. "Okay."

"Just calm down. You're falling apart."

Shit... He knew. The grip Matthew had on Yong Soo's shirt tightened and he stood there, trying to collect himself.

"It's alright..." Yong Soo whispered reassuringly.

The other looked up at the Korean, blushing scarlet. "I-If you insist..." he murmured.

Yong Soo pulled away, still smiling slightly.

Matthew stood there for a moment, before reaching up and placing a kiss on Yong Soo's cheek. He retreated not too long after, worrying his lower lip again.

The brunette blushed lightly, though it could have just been Matthew's imagination.

"Sorry... I just really..."

"No, it's fine."

The other's blush darkened and he reached up to trace his lower lip, averting his gaze.

"Hm?" Yong Soo decided it may be best to let Matthew do what he wished. After all, they had done it before, even if he couldn't remember it.

Matthew's hand fell from it was, and instead reached over to thumb at the back of Yong Soo's neck. He went back to looking at Yong Soo, nervously. "I-I was never the one who..." His blush darkened, if possible, and he swallowed loudly. "...yeah..."

The other laughed lightly, though on the inside, he was still debating on what to do. After a moment's hesitation, he leaned down and kissed Matthew's forehead.

"...hmm..." Matthew leaned forward and kissed at Yong Soo's jaw, happily. His other hand moved up to tangle in Yong Soo's hair.

Yong Soo moved as if some part of the back of his mind told him what to do_. I wish getting my memories back was this easy._ He allowed himself one dry chuckle at the thought before kissing Matthew.

"...!" The other's eyes widened at the bold move, but he allowed himself to relax into the kiss, pushing closer to the other as if none of this memory loss thing had ever happened. He could pretend nothing had ever happened...

The brunette hugged Matthew close, kissing him gently, before pulling away. It was too soon.

Matthew made some sort of noise that sounded like a whine, but the other was unsure. He buried his face in Yong Soo's neck, his breathing shaky.

"Are you alright?" Yong Soo asked quietly.

"I'm fine... I'm just..." Matthew hesitated. "...pent-up, you could say..."

"I see. It's only been what, three days for you though, right?"

"Five... You were asleep for three, then there was yesterday, and then today..." Matthew held the other closer. "Change, after so many years, is difficult to deal with..."

"I'm sorry." Yong Soo found himself apologizing once more. But what else could he do?

"Don't apologize... You wouldn't know anyways." Matthew moved so that he was looking up at Yong Soo. Their height difference wasn't much, maybe a few inches, but it was enough to cause Matthew to look up. He caressed Yong Soo's cheek with his hand, softly running the pad of his thumb over it.

The brunette met his eyes, his mind racing once more.

Matthew offered him a kind smile, kissing at his jaw once more. "I can tell that you're thinking," he murmured. "Is everything alright?"

"Ah... yeah, everything's fine." He said absentmindedly, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you sure? I can stop if there's something wrong." Matthew had stopped placing soft kisses at his jaw line, concerned.

"No, it's fine."

Yong Soo felt a smile against his jaw and the other moved up to kiss him again, a little rougher this time.

Matthew grabbed at his chin, slowly pushing the brunette against a nearby wall. He tightened the grip he had in Yong Soo's hair, licking at his lower lip.

Yong Soo parted his lips slightly.

_I have. I've done this before._ Before, it had just been something Matthew had said. But now, he was sure.

He had remembered it.

The blonde moaned into the kiss and slipped his tongue past the other's lips, brushing at the roof of his mouth.

"Nn..." Yong Soo couldn't help but moan himself, wrapping his arms tightly around Matthew.

"...mm." The other gasped into the kiss, probing into the other's mouth with his tongue. He grabbed at Yong Soo's hair with both of his hands, pushing the other against the wall even more.

Yong Soo pulled away again, gasping for air, reeling from the kiss and from regaining one of his memories.

Matthew nipped at his lower lip, panting heavily. "Is everything alright?" he asked, breathless. "You look lost..."

"I... I just remembered something."

"You did?" Matthew's eyes lit up. "What did you remember? If it was in the middle of... _that,_ then..."

"Y-yeah..." Yong Soo averted his gaze. "I just remembered... kissing you, I guess."

"...really?" The blonde's smile widened. "That's good! You remembered _something,_ which is one step closer to gaining your memory back! See? You _can_ get it back!"

"Ahaha... yet _you_ were the one who thought I couldn't."

Matthew pouted. "Whatever." He smiled again, happy.

Yong Soo smiled as well. "Well, I guess... maybe I'll get the rest of them back. At least some of them."

"The only other thing that I can think of that would bring back quite a few would be se -" Matthew stopped himself there, his blush returning ten-fold.

Yong Soo's face turned red. "Sex...?"The blonde didn't say anything and looked off to the side, worrying his lower lip.

"...Maybe... um..." _I don't…_

"I... I couldn't do that to you... not right after..." Matthew started shaking again and he hid his face in the crook of Yong Soo's neck.

"Yeah..." Yong Soo laughed nervously. "Sorry, but..."

"No... no, I can't!" The blonde cried, getting worked up again. "I-I'm sorry for bringing it up... it was a normal thing in our relationship..."

"Calm down, Matthew... No need to freak out."

"I-I'm sorry, it's this thing that I have and I tend to freak out and when it happens it takes forever to get it to stop... I'm sorry, I should really get some sleep before I..." He started laughing nervously for no apparent reason, pulling away.

"Yeah... I'll let you do that." Yong Soo moved away.

Matthew hesitated before heading over to his bed, curling underneath the sheets. A cold emptiness occupied itself in his chest, but he didn't have the courage to say what he wanted to say. Instead, he decided to try and fall asleep, despite what his conscious told him to do.

Later that night, when Yong Soo decided to go to sleep, he stared into space, trying to remember anything else. After several hours, he fell into a fitful sleep.

Yong Soo was the first to wake. He saw on his small digital clock that it was 7:34 in the morning. He sat up, yawning.

A note sat on his dresser, and it was from Yao. The note read:

_If you plan to get a job, I suggest you leave by 8._

_-Yao_

_Shit._ Yong Soo rushed to get dressed.

o There was a murmur from the other side of the room, and Matthew stirred, mumbling. He sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes and reaching around for his glasses, blindly. "You're up already...?" he asked. "...mm, what time is it..."

"7:40." Yong Soo said calmly.

"What?" Matthew was awake and shoving his glasses onto his face, out of bed and rushing to get his clothes. "Shit! I slept in!"

"Really? I'm going to a job interview, too."

"Dammit, this sucks balls," the other hissed, pulling on a pair of jeans and searching for a shirt to wear. "Come on... why didn't my alarm go off?"

"Sorry... I should've woken you up."

"It's alright... I-I had my alarm set to go off four times, just in case this happened... argh, this is bad!" Matthew pulled on his socks and shoes, pulling his things together into a folder.

"Shit..." Yong Soo cursed. "What do I need to know for an interview?"

"Um..." Matthew paused, thinking for a moment. "To be honest, I can't really remember... The only job I've ever had is working at this farm a few years ago back in Canada." He grinned, sheepishly. "From what I've heard of, it's really just your previous occupations and the like, I guess."

"Uh... I haven't had any, right?"

"No... I don't think so."

"I might as well just go work at McDonalds..."

Matthew gave him a look of disbelief. "But you don't even _like_ McDonalds."

"Yeah, but I need a job."

"Why not some sort of yakiniku place? You like that."

"Nah. McDonalds is easier."

So _that's_ what it was about.

"Oh..." Matthew's lips quirked into an amused smile. "If you insist." He grabbed his folders and gestured for Yong Soo to follow him.

Yong Soo did so, letting the blonde take him wherever. However, Kiku was standing in the kitchen.

Matthew hesitated, his hand gripping at Yong Soo's wrist a little tighter than necessary. "Good morning, Kiku," he greeted, stiffly.

"Good morning, Matthew-san." Kiku turned to Yong Soo, his dark brown eyes unreadable. "Did you sleep well?"

Yong Soo frowned, but nodded.

"If you don't mind, we'll be off."

"Is Yong Soo getting a job at the same place you are?"

Matthew remained calm, neither frowning or smiling. "No, I don't believe so. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I believe it would save time if you drove to your job yourself, as I drive Yong Soo to his."

The blonde's eyes narrowed at this. "We aren't working too far apart. I think driving him to his is just fine for my schedule."

Yong Soo frowned. "It's already 7:45. I don't want to make you late."

"I understand if you do not wish to. I was offering an alternative, as you two seemed in a rush."

"Come on, Yong Soo." Matthew grabbed his hand and linked their fingers together, tugging the Korean behind him and not looking back.

"Drive safe." Kiku called after them calmly.

Matthew and Yong Soo got in the car, and the blonde started up the car, setting his folders down in the backseat. "Geez," he sighed.

"What is it?" Yong Soo asked, sitting in the passenger's seat.

"Your cousin... He's always on to me and trying to separate us... It's even worse because of your lack of memory." Matthew backed out of the parking lot and headed off to Yong Soo's first job interview.

_Kiku? But he seems so nice._ Yong Soo frowned, but entered the McDonald's. _It should easy to work and get a job here. _He told Matthew to go ahead and go to his interview.

"So how did it go?" Matthew asked, after he returned to pick Yong Soo up.

"I got it." Yong Soo said, grinning confidently. "How about you?"

The blonde nodded, smiling. "Me too."

"Okay, good. Do we have classes today?"

"No... we don't. We only take them three times a week... Saturdays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays... They're not spaced out that well, but since we have to go to college fifteen hours a week, we decided to take five hours a day, three times a week." Matthew shrugged. "You thought of it."

"I'm so smart." Yong Soo said jokingly. The car pulled up to the house. Kiku was gone.

"Thank goodness." Matthew rolled his eyes. He got out of the car and reached the door, fumbling with his pockets to find the keys.

Yong Soo ran inside the house as soon as the door opened.

Confused, Matthew hurried to catch up to him, asking, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I wanted to go inside." Yong Soo shrugged.

"Oh... Alrighty then." Matthew took off his shoes and grabbed a drink. "It's always so empty during the day."

"Yeah..." Yong Soo frowned. "Kinda lonely."

"Mhmm." The other nodded. He took a sip of the soda he had grabbed and relaxed on the couch. "I don't feel like studying," Matthew stated, out of the blue.

"I never feel like studying." The other countered.

"Or at least, I haven't yet."

"You hate it."

"Exactly." Yong Soo said triumphantly.

Matthew offered him a smile.

The brunette looked thoughtful for a moment. "Now what?"

"Hmmm..." The other thought for a moment, and then a grin formed. "Wanna play some video games?"

**Finn: Hello, everyone! Guess what? WE UPDATED. So yeah. I'm glad we finally found a way to post this, though. Thank you for reading as always, and I apologize for the delay!**

**Alfie: We're back in business, baby! During a nice little Skype conversation, Finn and I found our old stories from July and decided to update them. Oh, the memories!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** I, the Amnesiac (4/?)  
><strong>Authors:<strong> **cookiecollabs**  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> eventual CanKo  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> loss of memory, mild language  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> none  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Neither Alfie nor Finn own Hetalia: Axis Powers.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

"I totally just kicked your ass, eh?"

"Ah, damn!" Yong Soo cursed. "I bet I usually win!"

Matthew chuckled. "You wish!"

"Well, do I?" Yong Soo looked at him, brown eyes wide. "Do I?"

The other shook his head. "No, you don't." He frowned. "I'm telling the truth. I learnt from the best."

Yong Soo pouted. "Hmph. Be like that."

"I will."

"Well, I know I hate losing now." The other said, trying to look on the bright side.

Matthew offered him a smile, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

Yong Soo was surprised at this, his cheeks turning pink for a moment, and he ducked under his hand.

"Heh." The other only followed, leaning forward and laughing.

"Whaaat?" Yong Soo complained, starting to laugh as well.

The blonde leaned forward a bit more, his laughing dying down. "You're just cute sometimes... I miss that," he admitted, his tone sad.

"I'm not cute..." The other pouted more.

Matthew's smile widened. "You are." He set his controller down and held his arms out in a request.

The brunette hesitated before letting Matthew hug him.

"Sorry, I just feel clingy..." Matthew brushed his cheek against Yong Soo's, suddenly sullen.

"No, no, it's fine."

The other nodded and held him closer, kissing at his jaw line.

The other squirmed, a bit uncomfortable, though he couldn't deny that it felt kinda... nice.

Matthew noted this and pulled away, hands curling at his shoulders. "Is everything alright?" he murmured, eyes darker than usual.

"Yes, I'm fine..."

"...I can stop, if you want."

"I said I was fine."

"If you insist..." Matthew slipped his hands over to caress Yong Soo's face, gently. He smiled, the feel of the other's skin under his hands a comfort to him in a way.

Yong Soo shuddered at his touch and leaned forward to kiss the blonde, a tiny, selfish, part of him hoping he'd regain another memory.

"Hmm..." Matthew pushed forward, moving over so his knees were on either side of Yong Soo's hips. He licked at the other's lower lip, moaning.

"Mmph!" The other made a sound of surprise, caught off guard.

The blonde grabbed at his hair, the force of his need pushing causing Yong Soo onto his back. He climbed on top, their kiss never breaking.

The other reached up, wrapping his arms around the other's neck, and deepened their kiss.

"...ha!" Matthew gasped, grabbing the other's hair and pulling them chest-to-chest.

Yong Soo finally pulled away, face flushed and breathing shakily.

Matthew smiled, his cheeks red. "Did you..." he panted. "Did you remember anything?"

The other looked slightly disappointed for a moment. "No."

"Oh..." The blonde's smile slipped. "That's too bad..."

"Yeah..." Yong Soo frowned, slumping. "Oh well." He said, smiling and trying to remain positive.

"There's always next time... Everything won't just come back all at once." Matthew moved over so that he was hugging Yong Soo from behind, kissing at the back of his neck. "I'm hoping this part of you hasn't changed," he murmured in-between kisses.

Yong Soo shuddered at the light touch, tensing.

"So it seems you are." Matthew smiled against his neck, taking an experimental lick.

The brunette froze, turned scarlet, and pulled away, stammering and completely flustered.

Matthew's smile grew wider and he kept Yong Soo hugged against his chest, but didn't touch him. "Heh, I knew it."

"Wh-what was that for?"

"It was one of your ero zones," Matthew said into the small of his back. "I was curious to see if it still was. Along with..." He moved one of his hands over to tug at his curl, grinning against Yong Soo's back.

"Gah!" Yong Soo cried, shocked. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Does it feel good?" was all the other said, thumbing at his ahoge.

"N-no..." The other mumbled, his face growing redder each second.

"...you sure?"

"Yeah."

Matthew pulled harder, nibbling at his neck again.

"Ah..." Yong Soo was frozen, mind blank, and his face completely scarlet. He couldn't force any words out.

"Hmm... It's not nice to lie, Yong Soo," the blonde murmured, an octave or two lower.

Yong Soo shuddered at Matthew's tone of voice. "Fine. I-it..." He gasped. "It... sorta feels nice..."

Matthew released his ahoge, smirking. But Yong Soo couldn't see that. "Hmm~ Glad you decided to be honest."

Yong Soo stuck his tongue out at the other. "Hmph."

The other pulled away and got up, sitting back down on the floor so he was face-to-face with the Korean. "Are you up for another round?" he asked, excitedly. L

"Hmph. I'll beat you! I will!"

"Not a chance!" Matthew grabbed his controller, starting another round.

Just for your information, Yong Soo lost.

"Ah ha ha ha!"

"Dammit! It isn't fair!" Yong Soo complained.

"I'm surprised you haven't beat me _once!"_

The other pouted. "This game is rigged!"

"It isn't! Admit your defeat!"

"Hell no!"

"Do it!" Matthew grabbed his arm, laughing. M

Yong Soo glared daggers at the blonde and tried to beat him once more. "Why're you so good?" He demanded.

"I used to live with my brother."

"He was good at video games, too?"

Matthew's eyes lit up with admiration. "He was the _best._ Better than me!"

"Really..?"

"Yeah!"

"Well... I just lost my memories! You should give me some advantage!"

The other's eyes softened and he reached over to ruffle his hair again. "You've never been good at video games, so it's not like you'll gain anything in this category," he said, teasing.

"Why wasn't I good?" Yong Soo demanded, as if Matthew would know.

"H-How would I know?"

"No idea!"

"Then don't ask me!" Matthew went to the main menu on their game and closed out the system, taking Yong Soo's controller and putting it away. "Now that we've wasted some time, I think I'll go study," the blonde murmured.

"Have fun with that."

"Don't do anything that will get you in trouble." Matthew got up off the floor, heading off for their room.

"Sure, sure."

Several minutes later, Kiku opened the door, taking off his shoes. He looked up at Yong Soo. "Did you make it?"

Yong Soo blinked, and nodded. "Y-yeah."

Kiku smiled at him. "Good."

Not too long after did Yao return as well, empty-handed. "I'm home, aru," he called.

"Hey, Yao."

"Where's Haneul?" Kiku asked. "He's usually home by now."

"I got a call from him a couple hours ago. He said he would be hanging out with Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert, whoever they are... aru."

Kiku nodded. "Well, that's fine."

Yong Soo thought a moment, and decided against asking who they are.

"Haneul's mentioned them a few times, but I can't remember who they are... He never invites his friends over." Yao frowned, thinking. "Hmm..."

Yong Soo shrugged. "But basically, they're his friends."

"I would hope so, aru."

Kiku nodded quietly, and left without saying anything else.

"Ma de, aru..." Yao sighed and exited to go to the kitchen. "Things are so different now," he mumbled to himself, grabbing some materials for dinner.

"What's for dinner?" The younger Asian asked, curious.

"Soup."

"Huh? Again?"

"Do you think we can afford anything else, aru?" the elder snapped.

Yong Soo winced. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Yao looked at him for a moment, an apologetic look in his eyes. He turned away, preparing their dinner. "Sorry, aru."

"It's fine."

"So..." Yao stirred the substance in the pot. "Did you get a job, aru?"

"Yep." Yong Soo smiled.

"Did Matthew?" the other asked, smiling.

"Yep. That's what he told me."

"Sounds good. If you two do well, we can eat other things other than soup, aru."

"Hopefully." Yong Soo laughed lightly. "Though your soup _is_ good."

Yao's smile widened. "Is it?"

"Yep! It is!"

"Ah... I would make it every day, but not everyone likes to have soup every day, aru."

"Well, variation is always good! But still, I like your soup."

The elder nodded. "Thank you."

Preparations went by fast, thanks to Yong Soo's conversation. Everyone was settled down at the table by six-thirty.

Everyone but Matthew.

"Where is he, aru?"

"How the fuck would I know?"

"I'll go check our room." Yong Soo stood up.

Yao nodded. "Do, please."

Yong Soo left the table and walked to his room, opening the door a crack. "Um, Matthew?"

The blonde wasn't anywhere to be found. Not until Yong Soo checked the other side of Matthew's bed, where the man was sleeping on the floor, textbooks around him.

Yong Soo smiled, nudging the blonde. "Hey."

"..nn... ng Soo..."

Yong Soo leaned down towards Matthew. "...Mattie? It's time for dinner."

Matthew rolled over onto his side, a photo in one of his hands. "...t why..." he mumbled, yawning.

The brunette frowned, taking the photo that Matthew held.

It was a picture of them at a party, something that looked pretty recent, maybe a few weeks old. Matthew was clinging to Yong Soo, obviously having gotten into the punch, which was probably tainted with alcohol. They looked happy, more than how Yong Soo had thought about the relationship between them.

The brunette gave a tiny smile, setting the picture down. He leaned close to Matthew's face. "Mattie." He whispered quietly.

Matthew mumbled something, his eyes opening halfway. "Yong Soo..." he murmured, voice thick with sleep.

"Dinner's ready."

"Jus'..." The blonde gave a dreamy smile and reached with one of his hands to touch Yong Soo's cheek, gently.

_He's still half-asleep..._

He sat up and kissed Yong Soo, making a noise of contentment.

Yong Soo hesitated, slowly kissing the blonde back.

Matthew grabbed at his hair, his eyes opening all of the way so he could look at Yong Soo properly.

As he did, Yong Soo pulled away, smiling down at the blonde. "Hey..."

The other offered a smile as well. "Dinner's ready?"

"Yep. Soup."

"...yay."

Yong Soo got up, heading to the kitchen.

Matthew followed suit, taking a glance at the photo that was left on the ground as he left.

"Ah, you two are back, aru."

Haneul scowled. "It's about time, you fuckers! I'm hungry, dammit!"

"Just for that, you're getting served last."

"...fuck!"

Yong Soo blinked at him. "You like to curse, don't you?"

When Matthew sat down, he rolled his eyes. "That's his specialty, eh."

"Shut up, blondy! This isn't your conversation!"

"Don't you think it's best for all of us if he stays in his room and watches porn?" The blonde asked Yao, who didn't looked amused.

"I'd have to agree with you..." Yao hesitated. "But I don't agree with the porn part, aru."

The agitated Korean swore loudly, causing Yao to smack him upside the head. "That hurt, dammit!"

"I hope it did."

"That's so mean!"

"Your name's Haneul, right?" Yong Soo piped up.

Everyone froze.

Haneul glanced at him, disgusted. "No, it's Robert," he spat, sarcastically.

"Oh... I swore it started with an H."

Matthew groaned. "He was kidding, Yong Soo. His name is Haneul..."

"Oh! So I was right!"

"Yes... Yes you were..."

"Dumbass," Yong Soo's brother hissed.

"Hey! Not nice!" Yong Soo protested.

"_Gae._"

"What was that?" The other snapped.

"You're a dog!" Haneul spat back. "You've always been one!"

"Hell, I wouldn't know that!" Yong Soo cried, getting considerably angry.

"Just wanted you to catch up!" the elder twin laughed, standing up to point at Yong Soo, taunting.

"Shut up! You annoy me every time you open your mouth!" Yong Soo hissed, glaring at his twin. Well, this was new.

Haneul faltered at this, losing his look of disgust. But he collected himself quickly and retorted, "Now you know how I feel!"

Matthew watched this exchange, utterly shocked at Yong Soo's behavior. _Did he just..._

The other grinned darkly. "I'm glad we're on the same page, brother dear."

"Yong Soo, stop it!" the blonde cried, grabbing at him and pulling him away. "What are you doing?"

Yong Soo looked back at him, his eyes suddenly softening. "...I don't know." He admitted.

"Well, whatever it is, stop!" Matthew shouted, clearly upset with the Korean.

Haneul looked off to the side and pulled away from the table, shuffling towards his room and closing the door, locking it.

"Ma de..." Yao sighed. "It just keeps getting worse, aru."

Yong Soo slumped in his seat, running a hand through his hair. "God... I'm sorry."

"What _was_ that, eh?" Matthew questioned.

"No idea. I just... got angry, I guess." Yong Soo sighed, upset with himself.

Matthew frowned. "That was absurd. You've never gotten that angry before."

The Korean looked back at Matthew. "Like I said, I don't know."

"Well... Please don't do it again." The blonde looked at Yao, who gave him a look of 'what?'. "Could we start eating now?"

"I... I guess..."

In the middle of reading, Yong Soo suddenly put his book down. His head throbbed.

Matthew walked in, showered and hair dripping wet. "Yong Soo?" he asked, worried. He walked over to the other's bed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

_Yong Soo sat at the table, surrounded by familiar faces. They were talking, laughing, arguing. He recognized Yao, Kiku, and Haneul, though there was a girl there as well, with dark brown hair like the rest of them. However, he knew for sure that they were all happy._

Yong Soo snapped out of his daze, his head still hurting. "...Huh?"

"Yong Soo?"

Yong Soo looked up to meet Matthew's concerned violet eyes. "...What?"

Matthew frowned. "Are you... alright?"

"Y-yeah, sorry. Headache."

"Are you sure?" Matthew frowned. After a moment, he asked, "Did you remember something?"

Yong Soo nodded. "I think I did."

"What was it?"

The Korea frowned. "Eating dinner with my family, I think." He looked down. "We were talking. I don't really know it was about."

Matthew sat beside him, thinking. "Hmm... It was something, at least. The more memories the better, right?"

"Yeah... there was someone else there, too. A girl. She looked like a relative."

The other nodded to himself. "It was probably Mei, your snobby and too-rich-to-live-with-the-rest-of-her-family cousin."

"She didn't look that snobby." Yong Soo said thoughtfully.

"Then that was probably a memory from back when she didn't change. She took on this sudden personality change a few years ago and decided to use the money from... I have no idea, and buy her own house over in East Asia."

"I see. So... just another cousin."

"Yup." Matthew handed him one of the photo albums, pointing to a picture of a girl with long brown hair. "Was it her?"

He stared at it for a moment, narrowing his eyes. The girl was gripping Kiku's arm and smiling at the camera. "Yeah. That's her."

"Then yeah. That was Mei."

Yong Soo nodded slowly. "Alright."

Matthew hesitated before putting the book back in its place, keeping his hands in his lap and fiddling his thumbs.

Yong Soo looked back at the blonde. "Something bothering you?"

"No..." The other wasn't sure whether Matthew was lying or not, by the tone of his voice. "Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure? It looks like something is."

"...I'm worrying about my exam?"

Yong Soo looked at him, eyes serious. "Are you lying?"

Matthew worried his lip, moving his violet orbs up to look at Yong Soo. "...no?"

"...You are."

"I'm... I'm not."

"..." The brunette sat on his bed. "Alright. If you say so."

Matthew shrugged, and decided to lay on his back. "Yeah."

Yong Soo felt concerned, but decided just to let it slide.

"So should we look at some more stuff to see if you can remember anything else?" the blonde asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I guess." The other replied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** I, the Amnesiac (5/?)  
><strong>Authors:<strong> **cookiecollabs**  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> eventual CanKo  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> loss of memory, mild language  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> none  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Neither Alfie nor Finn own Hetalia: Axis Powers.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

"Any luck?"

This was murmured at two in the morning, after Yong Soo was quiet for about fifteen minutes after looking through a photo album that consisted of pictures that were mostly of them.

"..." Yong Soo turned the page. "Nothing."

Matthew looked over to the side, sighing. He ran a hand through his hair, fixing his glasses. "We still have more photos... There's always that one thing that could spark a memory..."

Yong Soo glanced back at him. "...Hm?"

"I still have hope," the blonde whispered, looking up at the Korean with determination in his eyes.

"I don't know." Yong Soo shrugged. "What were you saying earlier? What could spark a memory?"

Matthew's determination immediately disappeared. He worried his lower lip, which was becoming red due to the agitation. "About that..."

"Hm?"

"I... Haha. Funny you ask..."

"_You_ brought it up."

"...oh..." Matthew's lips quirked into a frown, his cheeks coloring in the dim light. "Right... I did, didn't I?"

"Yep, you did."

"Sorry, eh."

"So...?" Yong Soo looked at him expectantly.

Matthew shook his head. "Nope. Never mind. It's not important anymore."

"If you say so... It seemed pretty important ten seconds ago."

"W-Well... now it's not."

"Okay, then."

The other hesitated. "Okay, fine. I'll say it."

"Good. What?"

"...sex."

"...What?"

Matthew gritted his teeth together, averting his gaze. "I-I've said it before... it's.. it's sex..."

Yong Soo remembered hearing that before. "...Sex..."

"...yeah."

"Um..." Yong Soo looked down, feeling awkward.

"We..." The blonde panicked and stuttered, "W-We don't _have_ to! It's just... I-It's just helped before, s-so..."

Yong Soo blushed, looking down. "Do you think it'll work?"

"I-I don't... I'm not sure..." He looked back.

The brunette frowned, unsure. "Well..." _I know that he _was _my boyfriend and we did that kinda stuff before, but still..._

"I did some, um... research earlier and it said that... th-that was one of those things that could spur a memory... and a big one..."

"R-really...?"

"Um... yeah, the... the whole..." Matthew sighed. "Why am I acting so damn nervous... god dammit..."

Yong Soo averted his eyes, looking at anything other than the blonde.

"In other words, I personally think it will help," Matthew stated after an awkward moment of silence.

"...Oh." Yong Soo said softly.

"...so, um..."

The two stood quietly, their silence becoming awkward.

Matthew sat up, moving up to his knees. He reached over and touched Yong Soo's cheek, hands shaking. "U-Um..."

Yong Soo looked down, face flushing.

"If you want me to stop... just say so..." The blonde leaned forward, his hair tickling Yong Soo's cheek.

The other's blush grew darker as he leaned forward as well.

Matthew caressed his cheek, closing the space between them.

Their lips pressed together and Yong Soo drew away for a moment, as if to prepare himself.

"...I love you."

The brunette looked down, not knowing what to say.

"Yong Soo?"

"I..." Yong Soo froze, hesitating.

Matthew kissed his forehead, comforting him. "You don't have to say it back," he whispered, sadness in his voice.

The brunette looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Yong Soo woke up pressed against Matthew's chest.

The other male was running a hand through his hair, content with where he lay.

Yong Soo rested his cheek against Matthew's shoulder. His head throbbed with a headache once more.

Although reluctant to break the comfortable silence, Matthew whispered, "Is everything alright? Are you sore?"

"...A little." The other said quietly.

Matthew's lips quirked into a small frown, but nothing more. He opened his eyes, looking down at Yong Soo. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's alright." He murmured, burying his face in the blonde's chest. He was warm.

_"I love you." The blonde averted his violet eyes. "I do. A lot." Yong Soo felt his face flush at the words. He reached out and took one of Matthew's hands, pulling him into a hug._

_"I love you, too."_

Yong Soo's head pounded more. He gritted his teeth.

"Eh?" Matthew felt the discomfort that the Korean felt, and he was instantly concerned for him. "Yong Soo?"

"My head hurts."

"Oh..." He frowned. "Did you remember something?" As if he could make his headache go away, Matthew kissed his forehead, gently.

"Yeah." Yong Soo closed his eyes, picturing his memory in his mind, which flustered him more.

"May I ask what it was?"

"...You were in it." The other mumbled.

Matthew thought for a moment before continuing his stroking of Yong Soo's hair. "I was?" That was good, he thought. That meant it worked.

"Uh huh."

"What was I doing?"

"It's... well..." the brunette hesitated. "You were saying you loved me."

The other male went quiet, his hand stopping what it was doing in Yong Soo's hair. "...ah."

Yong Soo nodded, looking up and meeting his eyes.

Matthew worried his lower lip, his cheeks dusting pink.

"What's wrong?"

"...I was right," the other stated, quietly. "About this whole ordeal... You remembered something... which means it worked..."

"Well... m-maybe it didn't... maybe... It just happened to... I don't know." The other sighed.

"We don't have to..." Matthew frowned. "I won't force you. I already felt like I did once."

Yong Soo looked at him gently. "It's fine. I did it before."

"Yeah, but... you're still recovering..."

"Hush." The other smiled at him.

Matthew blinked a couple times, taken aback. But he smiled, a little confused. "Um... okay?"

Yong Soo closed his eyes, sighing softly. "I'm allowed to feel a little happy... right?"

"Of course..."

"Good. 'Cause I am."

The blonde male smiled. "That's good."

"I should hope so."

"Yeah."

A glance was shot at the two from across the table, and Haneul was immediately onto the subject. "So you guys fucked?"

Both Matthew and Yong Soo turned bright red at the question.

"...oh, so Haneul wasn't just kidding, aru?" Yao asked, amused.

"Sh-shut up." Yong Soo stammered, flushing scarlet.

Matthew fidgeted in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. "Th-This isn't something that should be discussed at the table," he mumbled.

"But it's interesting! Yong Soo only lost his memory a few days ago, and you guys already did it, aru!" The eldest Asian gave him an approving look. "That was quick!"

"Heh. You guys are so gay," Haneul drawled, chuckling to himself.

Yong Soo glared at him. "Like I said, shut up."

"I won't!"

"You guys..." Matthew averted his gaze, embarrassed. "Can we please drop the subject?"

"Ah, how boring..." Yao sighed, but decided to listen. "So... You have exams tomorrow, Matthew?"

"Tomorrow's Tuesday?" Oh wow, time had gone by fast. "I-I guess I do, then."

"Ughh... I don't, right?" Yong Soo asked hopefully.

"No, you just took yours."

"That's what I thought..." The brunette looked relieved.

"Yeah, my exams are... _big."_

"Ah. Sucks."

Matthew shrugged. "I don't like them."

"Are you guys hungry?" Yao asked.

"Yep." was the synchronized reply.

Honda Kiku's eyes bore two holes in the back of Yong Soo's head. Naturally, this unnerved the Korean. He turned back to his cousin. "What is it?"

Matthew winced at the sudden change in tone, but didn't say anything. He just watched the two, book in hand.

The two were in the living room, with Yong Soo reading one of his old books, (technically a manga) one Matthew said he had loved, and Kiku on his laptop. Well, at least, he had been using his laptop.

"There's a grain of rice on your shirt." Was Kiku's calm reply.

"There is?" Yong Soo frowned, looking down at his shirt.

"No. It was joke."

_...He's so weird..._

"Alright..." Yong Soo frowned at Kiku's strangeness, but said nothing. Kiku simply smiled politely in reply.

"Err..." Matthew tried to speak up. "Uh..." But he had nothing to say.

Yong Soo looked at the blonde. "Something bothering you?"

"No... just... I'm not very sure, actually."

"Okay, then."

Kiku looked over both of them, his eyes darkening as if he was analyzing them both.

Matthew shot him a 'what do you want?' look.

"Nothing, really." Kiku answered as if he could read minds.

"Alright..." The blonde quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing more, returning to his novel.

Kiku opened his laptop again. However, neither of the other two knew what he was plot- er, _planning._

**Alfie: Finn and I apologise for the shortness. :c**


End file.
